When It’s Not a Silent Night: How to Avoid Overwhelm This Holiday Season
For many of us, the holiday season comes with changes to our routines, more time spent in unfamiliar environments, and the need to interact with a different group of people than we normally do in our daily life. If you easily experience sensory overwhelm or have high anxiety, these situations can feel a lot less cozy and a lot more chaotic.
If you know you have trouble regulating yourself in sensory-rich environments, it might be worth having a plan before you head to the next holiday gathering. If you’ll be outside of your comfort zone or in an unfamiliar environment, it may be especially helpful to consider how you are going to handle the holidays and give yourself the best chance to actually enjoy them.
Recognize Sensory Triggers
If you’ve been aware of your sensory triggers for a while, you might already have a pretty good idea of the things you need to avoid or manage in order to lessen overwhelm. However, many folks are just coming to understand how their sensory environment affects them. In these cases, it’s important to start to recognize just what your triggers are so that you can make a plan to manage them.
It’s helpful to know that for some people, sensory overwhelm can feel like being anxious. It might not immediately be obvious that something in your environment could be changed in order to make you feel more at ease.
Next time you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed, try to take a moment and really listen to your body. Are you squinting or keeping your eyes on the floor? Try putting on some sunglasses to see if that helps. Are you feeling like you can’t think straight or having racing, distracted thoughts? Noise canceling headphones might be helpful. Are you feeling too hot, cold, or itchy? Try adjusting your clothing to see if that helps.
For many adults with undiagnosed (or newly diagnosed) sensory disorders, it can take some time and close attention to what it is that you are actually feeling to discover the causes of your overwhelm. Tuning in to how your body and mind are responding to your environment will provide valuable insight to help you cope with overstimulation.
Plan Ahead for Known Triggers
Once you’re aware of the things that tend to lead to sensory overwhelm, you can make a plan to manage them. Holiday events and travel can throw off your routines and cause you to forget something simple that could be helping you feel better.
Before anything else, make sure that your plans allow plenty of time and opportunity for the basics. Food, rest, hydration, and (no joke) opportunities to use the bathroom are some of the easiest basic needs that are forgotten when your routine changes.
Other sensory needs could be managed by bringing along things like noise dampening ear plugs, sunglasses, and appropriate and comfortable clothing. When traveling overnight, plan for your best rest by bringing favorite pillows, eye masks, a white noise machine, or anything else you need to recreate your usual sleeping environment as much as possible.
Communicate Your Needs
It can sometimes feel embarrassing or uncomfortable to ask for your sensory needs to be accommodated, especially if you are just learning about them. Fears of being told you are too much or not being believed by the people who have known you the longest are very common.
Remember, you aren’t asking for accommodations for no reason. You want to be able to enjoy your time, and you want the people around you to enjoy it as well. Try to be direct and unapologetic about your needs.
One example might be to say something like, “I’ve recently learned that lots of noise can make me feel anxious. Is there a quiet room I could step into for a few minutes if I start to feel overwhelmed while I’m at the party? I’d love to be able to stay and enjoy as much time with you as I can.”
Have an Exit Strategy
In some cases, you might not have the opportunity to ask for your needs to be met directly. When it comes to work parties, large events, or huge family gatherings, you may need to simply have an exit strategy in the event that you become overwhelmed or uncomfortable.
For parties and events, this might mean driving separately or having a buddy who is willing to leave with you when you need to go. For family gatherings, it might look like staying somewhere else that you can retreat to, or even just stepping away and sitting in the car for a moment to take some calming breaths.
Give Yourself Permission to Rest
Feeling rushed and busy is almost a given during the holiday season for many people. Remember to give yourself permission to take the time you need to remain regulated and well rested. Saying no to some invitations or limiting your time at large gatherings are okay things to do, really!
If you are someone who has a lot of options and invitations during this time of year, you could even plan rest time into your calendar as a non-negotiable. This can be tricky for those who are used to feeling obligated to stay busy all the time or say yes to every request, but learning to say “No” and prioritize your own needs is an important part of caring for yourself. Ask yourself what you really need before responding to requests and invitations, instead of only asking yourself if you technically have time.
Connect With Someone Helpful
While you are the expert on your own experiences, it can sometimes be helpful to learn from others who frequently navigate sensory overwhelm. Sharing experiences and the ways we have found to cope with them is one of the benefits (and joys) of finding a community of people that you can relate to.
Supporting people in finding the things that work for them is one the most rewarding parts of my work, even if that means I simply point them to a resource they haven’t heard of before. You can read some of the frequently asked questions I get on my FAQ page, or contact me directly to set up a short consultation.
