Life is messy. Why not grab a paint brush and make art out of it? 

About Jay

Hi! I’m Jay Callahan.

Once upon a time, I was a youth pastor trying my best to follow all the rules. I was determined to live up to the expectations others had for a church leader. I only dated good Christian women. I fought for purity and questioned every single desire I had that hinted at selfishness. I was promised this would lead to the fullest life possible. 

And yet, I had so many questions about who I was. In the moments I couldn’t hide from myself anymore, I would ask… “Am I gay? What does that mean for me? Does everyone wonder that or is it just me? How much longer can I keep pretending? If all of this is just due to trauma then why haven’t I healed enough to move beyond it? Is God ignoring me or is this part of him testing me?”  

My life felt like a charade I was trapped inside of. I was slowly drowning and didn’t know why. I constantly felt like the walls were closing in and NO ONE else was noticing. I blamed myself for my questions and feelings of disconnection. 

Then in a plot twist that might not surprise you, I left my job as a youth pastor, came out as gay, and started graduate school for therapy. It was messy. Like, really messy. It was painful and confusing… and also the best choice I could have made for myself.

My first internship was at The Bridge for Youth, a homeless shelter and crisis resource for youth in the Twin Cities Area. Many of the youth there were LGBTQ+ people who were coming out and facing rejection from their families of origin. After growing up as an outsider (I was a homeschool kid who really didn’t seem fit in anywhere), it was both heartbreaking and humbling to see others experience such extreme circumstances simply because they were labeled “different.” 

I realized through my experiences that there were so many others who felt like I did. So many beautiful, unique people who had also been wounded by their families, conservative evangelicalism, purity culture, and the patriarchy. 

Now, I’m a proudly out gay therapist living a life my old self would probably have been a little shocked by. I’m pretty thrilled about it. And so is my husband.  

I enjoy rock climbing, being outdoors, hiking, traveling, trying new ways to brew coffee, experimenting in the kitchen with new recipes, and being near/in/on the ocean or any body of water. 

I’m a learner who usually has two or more books started on my Kindle and can often be found listening to a podcast while I cook or planning my next plant purchase.

Therapy With Jay 

As a therapist, I combine my training and love of learning with the intimate knowledge I have of growing up gay in a religious community. I know what it’s like to feel unseen, out of place, and unsafe in your own skin. 

I also know that your lived experience is just that… yours. And we will work together to find tools and build skills that work for you. 

My goal in our sessions is to help you find ways to move beyond the patterns of thinking and beliefs about yourself that are no longer serving you. I start by listening to your story, taking the time to understand your experience, and exploring how those experiences have shaped you. 

Curiosity, compassion, and kindness are essential to the work that I do. I look forward to working with you on your own journey to becoming more compassionate and kind to yourself. And if it gets a little messy… we’ll simply get curious and try to make some art. 

Professional Experience

I am an EMDRIA approved consultant and certified therapist, board of behavioral health approved supervisor. I have been a licensed therapist since 2017 and a supervisor since 2019.  I have been a presenter in various panels and training sessions, and am always seeking to learn from other experts as well as from my clients themselves.

I have had the honor of presenting or co-presenting on several important topics for therapists, including:                                 

  • Trauma Work Over Telehealth: Building a Sustainable Practice                                

  • Therapy in the Time of COVID: Telehealth Challenges and Opportunities                              

  • Therapy in the Time of COVID: Clinician Considerations                             

  • Therapy in the Time of COVID: Client Considerations

  • Running out of F**ks: A Proactive Approach to Secondary Traumatic Stress

  • Recognizing the Cycle of Trauma

  • Providing Equitable Care to LGBTQIA+ Patients 

  • Understanding Substance Use and Recovery

  • Understanding and Treating Co-Occurring Disorders in the LGBTQ Community