Sustainable Self-Care: Going Beyond Bubble Baths to Truly Care for Yourself
The internet is full of “self-care” advocates showing off their luxurious, spa-like bathrooms as they talk about how they like to prepare their favorite bubble bath. You’ll often see self-care described as long baths, trips to the nail salon, or camping trips to beautiful places.
None of those things are bad things, and they can absolutely be a small part of the way you care for yourself. However, I believe it’s important not to approach that kind of self-care with the expectation that it’s going to “fix” burnout, stress, and overwhelm.
Stress in Everywhere
We live in a stressful, fast-paced world, and many of us can’t afford to change the biggest stressors much. Kids, jobs, dealing with past (and sometimes current) traumas, navigating a complex healthcare system… Many of these things are going to keep existing no matter what.
So what do you do when you know that stress has real effects on your body and mental state, but you can’t remove the biggest stressors in your life? How do you practice self-care in a way that’s sustainable and effective for lowering your overall stress load when the stress just keeps coming?
Let Go of Perfection
First of all, this is not another list of things for you to try to do perfectly. If you don’t do them all immediately or perfectly, you’re not going to get a failing grade. Taking care of yourself won’t be sustainable if you approach it with an all-or-nothing mindset.
There really is no “right way” to care for yourself. Instead, you can make it your goal to expand your awareness of the things you might need and offer yourself new options for meeting those needs. This often looks like listening to your body and responding to what it’s telling you about what it needs, rather than worrying about what you are “supposed” to do.
Any steps you can take toward honoring your body, mind, and spirit by taking care of yourself are beneficial. This is simply a list of ideas to get you thinking about what sustainable self-care might look like for you.
Ideas for Self-Care
Here are some ideas you can use to think about how you might take care of yourself in these five different areas of life. Think about how you might adapt these ideas in a way that works for you and your current life situation. For example, listening to an audiobook during your commute, or taking a brief walk in the fresh air during your lunch break. Building self-care into your daily routine will help it remain sustainable.
*Note: I recognize that many of the items on this list are not accessible to everyone, and some might only be accessible some of the time. Self-care, while important for health and wellbeing, is also often a privilege for those who already have their basic needs met.*
Physical Self-Care
Plan time to eat, even if it’s just 10 minutes to sit down instead of eating on the go.
Move your body regularly by finding an activity you enjoy such as dancing or swimming. Exercise doesn’t have to be confined to a gym.
Take time to be sexual, either by yourself or with a partner. For those on the asexual spectrum, make time for intentional, sensual pleasure such as massages.
Make time to turn your devices off and be present with your family, friends, or yourself.
Psychological Self-Care
Make time for self-reflection, journaling, or meditation.
Engage in therapy (I happen to know a good therapist or two, if you need a recommendation…)
Do something that you are not in charge of or an expert at! Start a new hobby, or engage in learning about an interest that has nothing to do with your career or family life.
Practice saying “no” to extra responsibilities.
Emotional Self-Care
Spend time with people you enjoy being around.
Give yourself praise, affirmations, and love.
Identify the things that comfort you, and actively seek them out. This might be relationships, places, objects, or activities.
Engage in social activism in a way that feels good to you. Write letters, join protests, or donate to meaningful causes.
Spiritual Self-Care
Spend time in nature.
Be open to inspiration, optimism, and hope. Allow yourself to feel awe about life.
Read inspirational literature or listen to inspirational music.
Spend time being grateful for things and noticing the intangible things in your life that bring you joy and peace.
Professional/Workplace Self-Care
Take your breaks, especially meal breaks.
Practice setting boundaries with clients and colleagues. If you don’t need to be available to everyone all the time, try not to be.
If possible, bring a few comfort items into your work space. Photos of loved ones, favorite mugs, and sensory aids, for example.
Take time to chat with your co-workers, or seek out peer groups to engage with if you work alone.
Find Balance
Taking time to care for yourself might seem like a foreign concept to those who have never been able to offer themselves much time or attention. If you have left a high-control religion that glorifies personal suffering, it might feel especially uncomfortable to begin practicing self-care.
Many people wonder how they will know when self-care becomes selfish. If you’ve never taken time to focus on your own wellbeing, any amount of self-care will probably feel selfish at first!
It’s okay to take time to find the balance between meeting your obligations and taking time to care for yourself. It’s also okay to try some things and decide they aren’t for you after all. The important thing is that you begin to think about yourself as a person that you love and value, and start to care for yourself accordingly.
Loving Yourself Well
Sometimes, learning to care about yourself is a journey that requires some company along the way. Many people who have never been encouraged to take good care of themselves can feel as if they don’t even know where to start.
If you want to learn to love yourself well (and you aren’t sure a fancy bubble bath will do the trick) I would love to chat with you about how therapy might support you on your journey. Contact me to schedule a short call, or check out my FAQ page for other resources.
