Embracing the Spectrum: Exploring Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity

June is Pride month, a time to celebrate the beauty and diversity of  the LGBTQ+ community, remember those who came before us, and remind ourselves why the continued fight for representation and rights is worth it. 

For many ex-vangelicals and newly out queer folks, Pride can be an exciting chance to fully embrace their identity in a way they haven’t been able to before. Parades, parties, and all the rainbow attire they could possibly want? Yes, please! 

Others, however, might be approaching Pride month with some anxiety or imposter syndrome. Exploring your sexual orientation or gender identity later in life can be confusing for anyone, and those from strict religious backgrounds often deal with added layers of shame and guilt. 

No Wrong Way to Be Human

A common barrier to finding your place in the LGBTQ+ community is a lack of information. If you grew up with very strict rules regarding the kind of ideas you could access, it might feel like you’re trying to catch up on a whole new world of words and definitions while simultaneously trying to figure out who you even are. 

The good news is, there isn’t really a wrong way to explore your identity. While labels and definitions can help you find resources or groups that resonate with your lived experience, they shouldn’t confine you to a specific box that you must strictly adhere to for the rest of your life. Sexuality and gender are a spectrum, and they are often fluid as folks discover more about themselves and expand their experiences. 

Below are some common terms to describe different sexual orientations and gender identities. This is by no means a comprehensive list, and some folks may prefer to use their own unique identifiers. 

The Spectrum of Sexual Orientation

The Human Rights Campaign defines sexual orientation as, “An inherent or immutable enduring emotional, romantic or sexual attraction to other people.” Your sexual orientation describes who you are attracted to, and is not dependent on how you express yourself.  

Asexual 

Often called “ace” for short, asexual refers to a complete or partial lack of sexual attraction or lack of interest in sexual activity with others. Asexuality exists on a spectrum, and asexual people may experience no, little or conditional sexual attraction.

Bisexual 

A person emotionally, romantically or sexually attracted to more than one gender, though not necessarily simultaneously, in the same way or to the same degree. 

Gay  

A person who is emotionally, romantically or sexually attracted to members of the same gender. Men, women and non-binary people may use this term to describe themselves.

Lesbian 

A woman who is emotionally, romantically or sexually attracted to other women. Women and non-binary people may use this term to describe themselves.

Pansexual

Describes someone who has the potential for emotional, romantic or sexual attraction to people of any gender though not necessarily simultaneously, in the same way or to the same degree. Sometimes used interchangeably with bisexual.

The Spectrum of Gender Identity

Gender identity is defined as, “One's innermost concept of self as male, female, a blend of both or neither – how individuals perceive themselves and what they call themselves. One's gender identity can be the same or different from their sex assigned at birth.” 

Genderqueer

Genderqueer people typically reject notions of static categories of gender and embrace a fluidity of gender identity and often, though not always, sexual orientation. People who identify as "genderqueer" may see themselves as being both male and female, neither male nor female or as falling completely outside these categories.

Gender-expansive

A person with a wider, more flexible range of gender identity and/or expression than typically associated with the binary gender system. Often used as an umbrella term when referring to young people still exploring the possibilities of their gender expression and/or gender identity.

Gender-fluid

A person who does not identify with a single fixed gender or has a fluid or unfixed gender identity.

Non-binary

An adjective describing a person who does not identify exclusively as a man or a woman. Non-binary people may identify as being both a man and a woman, somewhere in between, or as falling completely outside these categories. While many also identify as transgender, not all non-binary people do. Non-binary can also be used as an umbrella term encompassing identities such as agender, bigender, genderqueer or gender-fluid.

Transgender

An umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or expression is different from cultural expectations based on the sex they were assigned at birth. Being transgender does not imply any specific sexual orientation. Therefore, transgender people may identify as straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc.

The Journey of Self-Discovery

Self-discovery is a lifelong, ongoing process. As you grow and experience new things, your understanding of yourself may evolve. This fluidity is natural and should be celebrated. True authenticity means allowing yourself the freedom to explore and redefine who you are over time. 

Give yourself permission to embrace curiosity and openness as you navigate your relationship to your identity. Whether it's through reading, connecting with others, or simply reflecting on your experiences, each step you take brings you closer to understanding and accepting your full, complex, beautiful self.

Moving Towards Authenticity

Living authentically is of course not just about being open about your sexual orientation or gender identity; it's about embracing and expressing your full self in all aspects of your life. When you are living in alignment with your inner self, you are more likely to experience increased self-esteem, reduced stress, and a greater sense of fulfillment and happiness.

Support systems and resources are essential on this journey. Local LGBTQ+ centers, online communities, and advocacy organizations offer a wealth of resources, from support groups to educational materials. Engaging with these resources can provide a sense of belonging and affirmation, reminding you that you are part of a vibrant and diverse community.

Moving towards authenticity is a deeply personal journey, and it's important to be patient with yourself. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and remember that living authentically is a continuous process. Your journey is unique, and every step you take towards embracing your authentic self is a testament to your strength and resilience.