Celebrating Queer Joy: Finding Meaning and Connection During Pride

The first Pride marches in the United States were held in New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles on June 28th, 1970. They were organized one year after the Stonewall Uprising of 1969. While the Stonewall Uprising was not the first time the LGBTQ+ community fought back against oppressive treatment by law enforcement, it remains one of the most well-known events in recent queer history.

Over the last half a century, LGBTQ+ folks have continued to celebrate Pride month as both a commemoration of those who have fought for the right to exist openly as themselves and a celebration of what it means to be a part of this diverse community. 

What Does Pride Mean Today?

For many, Pride month comes with mixed feelings of joy and struggle, hope and pain, celebration and grief. At a time when others around the world are being oppressed in unimaginable ways, it can be difficult to commit to moments of celebration and pride. 

On top of these mixed emotions, those who grew up in high-control religions might also be struggling to accept or express their queer identity without shame. All of these feelings are valid, and the truth is that we live in a complex world that often offers us opportunities to feel both immense grief and incredible joy simultaneously. 

Pride month offers us an opportunity to both reflect on these complexities and celebrate how far we have come. It can also be a wonderful time for newly exploring folks to feel seen, appreciated, and validated in their queer identities. 

Celebrating Queer Joy

In the midst of very real pain and oppression still being inflicted on LGBTQ+ folks and other marginalized groups, queer joy is a radical act of defiance and affirmation. The joy expressed by the queer community demonstrates the deliberate pursuit of happiness, love, and celebration in the face of marginalization and alienation. 

On an individual level, experiencing and expressing joy is also a powerful declaration of self-worth and resilience. Openly expressing delight in your identity can reduce feelings of isolation, build a stronger sense of community, and foster mental well-being.  

Queer joy doesn’t always have to be expressed by marching in parades and attending festivals. It can also be found in everyday moments of self-expression, such as choosing to wear clothing that reflects your full identity, creating art that speaks to queer experiences, or simply spending time with loved ones who affirm and celebrate your identity. 

Note: It is the unfortunate reality that in many locations around the world as well as in many religious communities, expressing your full identity might be dangerous for you. There is no shame in protecting yourself by waiting to fully express your identity outwardly until you feel safe to do so. Please know that your identity is still valid and you are still a valuable part of the LGBTQ+ community. 

Beyond the Parties and Corporate Sponsors

Another layer to consider during Pride is what organizations and events you will support with your time, attention, and money. While corporate sponsorship can bring visibility and funds to LGBTQ+ causes, it often comes with concerns about authenticity and the potential erasure of Pride's radical roots. If it feels good for you, you can focus on supporting companies that genuinely contribute to LGBTQ+ rights and visibility by shopping locally and doing your research before purchasing Pride-themed apparel and gear.

Pride celebrations have grown in size and scale over time, which can be a lot of fun! However, they can also be overwhelming for many folks. The loud music, large crowds, and bright lights can be a lot for people with sensory sensitivities or those who simply prefer quieter, more intimate settings.

Finding or creating alternative Pride events can offer a more personal and meaningful experience. Look for or organize gatherings that prioritize inclusivity, such as community picnics, art shows, or discussion groups. These events can provide a space for reflection, connection, and celebration that aligns more closely with personal values and needs.

Building Meaningful Connections

Finding your place in the queer community can be a deeply validating experience, especially when you spent the first part of your life denying your full identity due to repression or shame. But let’s be real, meeting people as adults, especially as neurodiverse adults, especially as neurodiverse adults with religious trauma, can be a bit tricky.  

Engaging with local LGBTQ+ groups, attending meetups, and participating in community activities are excellent ways to build connections. Smaller, more intimate gatherings and safe spaces are wonderful ways to form meaningful connections. Spaces like queer-owned cafes, community centers, and support groups can offer the comfort and security needed to fully express one's identity. These environments also allow for deeper conversations, genuine connections, and the creation of a supportive network. 

Finding organizations and events that focus on inclusivity and diverse expressions of Pride is also important for those embracing their identities. Groups that prioritize intersectionality and represent a broad spectrum of identities within the LGBTQ+ community can provide a more holistic and inclusive Pride experience.

Delight As Defiance

It can be easy to lose the joy of Pride when you’re busy trying to find non-corporate events, understand the radical history of Pride, and respect the grief and pain that many are still experiencing due to their queer identities. These are all important topics and a very real part of doing the work to accept and understand your place in a complicated world. 

It can be tempting to approach Pride month with an either/or mindset such as, “I can either have fun, buy cheap rainbow glasses online, and go to a drag brunch with my friends or I can engage in thoughtful conversions about marginalization and oppression while supporting my local queer community.”  

My challenge to folks is to adopt a both/and mindset instead. 

I can express delight in myself and my community and acknowledge that not everyone is safe to do the same.

I can learn about the oppression of marginalized communities and enjoy a night out with my friends to celebrate ourselves. 

I can grieve for those who have lost everything and celebrate the beauty and joy found within my community.  

I can continue to advocate for the rights of marginalized groups everywhere… and I can still have fun. 

Expressing joy in myself is an act of defiance. Laughter proves my resilience. And embracing my loved ones is a declaration of my worth and a testament to the fact that every person deserves the opportunity to love and be loved.